NEWS & EVENTS
This section keeps you up-to-date with the latest developments in Beyond Recovery’s work , in addition to giving you the chance to take advantage of the full range of courses, talks we offer, including our famous MindSpa experiences — a three day wellbeing and resilience retreat.
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NEWS
Although Beyond Recovery was only founded in 2014, we have already developed a wide range of work inside and outside of the criminal justice system and developed dozens of individuals committed to change society.
Keep up with our latest developments in the NEWS section.
EVENTS
Beyond Recovery is passionate about people seeing the infinite potential of themselves and taking inspired action for societal change. Why not get involved in our Wisdom Entrepreneurs or MindSpa programmes.
See the next course or event in our EVENTS section.
VLOG
Our founder, Jacqueline Hollows, regularly shares updates and key learning in a series of video newsletters. Follow the link below to get a unique insight into Beyond Recovery’s work.
See the latest newsletter in our VLOG section.
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We Do Not Teach Them Gratitude
with Jacquie Moses, Paul Lock Art, Alan Milledge
On our second week at Nottingham prison, Beyond Recovery worked with a new group of guys and three of the previous men came back to sit in again. All three were amazed at how much more they got the second time around. This week I was working with Jacquie Moses and she had sat in on the group last week so already had a connection and a presence in the room. We both prepared by sitting together and dropping into a quiet space together to reflect on life and the men we were about to share this understanding with. Once the men were in the room I clicked the door shut. “Is this ok Miss” said S. Nottingham was very blustery that day, a typical early March morning with the winds creating storms outside but the overheated room was still muggy . All our chairs were set in a circle and we had a small flip chart behind us ready to be used. The water urn and tea things were already scattered and messy from the guys getting their first drink. A used teabag had fallen onto the the table top and was sitting in a brown stain. S had remembered how hot the room was and brought in a small fan which he had plugged in to face himself and then switched the rotator on so that the cool air reached our facilitator chairs next to him. “Yes, thank you” I said.
We do not teach the men we work with to be kind, we do not teach them to curb their language, we do not teach them how to get over things, we do not teach them to have better relationships, we do not teach them to maintain their recovery, we do not teach them not to be angry, we do not teach them to be creative, we do not teach them to have compassion or be grateful.
But they learn all of these things. This week the men were kinder, more considerate to ourselves and too each other. They were compassionate, finding feelings for each others situations and wanting to help. They were calmer, using softer words, less jumping around and stiller in themselves. They were teaching each other. Men who had already had insights were helping the other men to see when they were ‘overthinking’ or ‘projecting’. They were using their own words. Not one man talked about ‘The Three Principles’ (the paradigm we teach). They all used words that made sense to them, to what they had seen. They are moved by the recordings of Sydney Banks and refer to the CD we played them to make a point and they also use their own stories as examples as a way of demonstrating what has changed for them and what is possible for others.
P came back to group this week and we made a deal that he would not try to teach so much. A very kind man who had done a lot of self development and bible studies and really wants to help others. On our last group, last week P had talked ALOT. Trying to help, trying to make us see that if we only read this book or listened to what he had to say we would all be better, feel better and be better at teaching others. We were patient and caring gently guiding him to use less words, to listen to the room, to give space and non of it seemed to have an impact. The only thing that seemed to really affect him was Jacquie Moses. In the group last week she sat for three days being of service to Paul and I, taking care of drinks and toilet breaks and any wandering men. The rest of the time she just sitting quietly and very present while group was on. Keeping her own council and holding the space for everyone, demonstrating a quiet mind. At the end of one of the sessions when the guys were checking in P said “I want to thank Jacquie, she sits there all quiet and patiently and she looks so peaceful, I want to learn to be like that”. P had to leave for another appointment last week so didn’t get to finish the group, and when I turned up this week he asked to see me. He wanted to persuade me to let him back to group so we had a chat about how to let other people come to their own realisations, how the insights can only be seen within a persons own mind and not through teaching them something, he promised to be quieter.
And he was, he was more patient and tried not to over speak and then something magical happened. “I want to tell you about my daughter” he said. There were 11 of us in the room, 8 of the guys, myself and Jacquie and Alan sat amongst the men. The circle of chairs had remained in place and some men sat back in the chairs leaning heads on the cool light blue walls; some sat leaning forward in their chairs, their hands clasped in front of them. The room was bright with the lights full on and the light coming through the windows. It seems silent to my mind now but the rest of the prison noises must have been clattering away in the background. P’s dark brown eyes lit up as he talked. “Go ahead”, I said. We let P talk on, this did not seem like a moment to bring him back to the conversation but one which to let run it’s course. He told us a story which had pain and suffering and sadness, he let the story come alive in his mind in the moment and suddenly he felt pain, he remembered the feelings of this story and was overwhelmed by them. He started to cry and covered his face.
I don’t know if you have ever been in a prison but one of the main taboo’s is showing emotion and especially crying. It is not something the men want anyone else to see. P lifted his brown t shirt to cover his face and all the while the men stayed still. They waited and kept listening, there was complete silence in the room. Not even the fidgety men moved, they sat still and listened. Eventually P lifted his head and apologised, the silence and the love in the room remained. I could tell you more about the compassion that entered the room when P showed himself another day. For now I want to tell you about P. After that moment we saw him, the real P. He was more humble and gentle. He listened more calmly and deeply. He had shown a vulnerable part of him he thought had been buried and by showing us himself he became a powerful teacher. And the gratitude was palpable, from him and from many of the others. At the end of the 3 day programme P said “I’m so grateful you gave me this opportunity. Before I even knew Beyond Recovery was coming I prayed that someone would come to teach me space, to show me how I could help people without overwhelming them with my knowledge. You have given me that”.
We Do Not Teach Them Gratitude
linkedin.com
On our second week at Nottingham prison, Beyond Recovery worked with a new group of guys and three of the previous men came back to sit in again. All three were amazed at how much more they got the se...Morning:)
youtu.be/4K97wuD9UhI excited for our new team member and for creativityyoutube.com
The miracle of space
Beyond Recovery started working in a new prison this week. It was the first programme of many that we will be running over the next few months. The programme is 2.5 days long and we sit with between 8-12 men for 5 consecutive sessions over that period and talk about peace of mind, the miracle of life and how our world is created inside out. This is not a conversation a group of men in prison are used to having. Even though some of them have read many self help books and have been on many courses, it is not a standard conversation. You can tell that by the way they come into the room, the ‘prison talk’ I call it, all about how the system has f**k*d them over, how this man needs to be beaten up, how they used to enjoy this drug or that lifestyle. You could also call it ‘chatting shit’. And then we are there, encouraging space and silence and meaningful conversation.
One man, G, sits next to the water urn, which we have switched off until the next break because it is noisy. He flicks the switch to on and I say “its too noisy” the room used to be a cafe and so is large enough to take several tables and chairs. It has been freshly cleaned but not yet painted. The walls are blue with holes in various spots where things used to hang. There is a tiny red paperclip lying on the dark blue carpet. The large, flatscreen TV is still on the wall opposite the window. All furniture has been removed and replaced with 30 new chairs. Practical ones but comfortable, with soft backs and soft seats in a dark blue colour. Half the chairs are stacked in one corner and the other half have been placed in a circle around which we sit with 10 men and three of the Beyond Recovery team. The table next to the man has a 13ltr urn, and the tubs of tea, coffee, sugar and cartons of milk with a number of blue cups. On one side of the room are three windows interspersed with the thick prison wall. All windows are thin strips of glass with thick white bars and on each set the two outer windows are opened just a sliver, which is as far as they will go. But this doesn’t stop the pigeons walking in accidentally! On the opposite wall are windows out into the hallway which is a large landing area surrounding a square hole which views down to the servery and up to the glass ceilings, through which the watery sun lights up the prison with its early spring light. We are on the ‘twos’ which is the second landing, there are four landings all together. In our room there is a feeling of suspicion mingled with the sweet smell of anticipation. The room is over hot with the big industrial pipes pumping out hot air and nowhere for it to go. The man next to the urn says “I just wanted a drink”. G is in his 50’s and has spent 11 years in prison. He is on a sentence called IPP which means he doesn’t know when his release date is and he has already loudly pronounced to the room and to us that he is ‘five years over tariff’ he is loud and rambunctious, a possible handful but he respectfully does as I ask even though it is with a frown. He is wearing a grey vest top which shows his arms covered in tattoos, his hairy chest and he has a lot to say for himself.
I was delivering this programme with Paul Lock, and we had Jacquie Moses in the room as support and then Alan Milledge and Stella Popowicz outside the room as the operational team. It seemed like we wouldn’t need all those pairs of hands but we did, there were so many new things that we had to navigate, including recruiting the men ourselves and a lot of running around sorting things out, I was extremely grateful the team where there because it allowed me to focus on the men in the room. It so much more impactful to have the silence, presence and availability when sharing this work than when one has a headful of logistics and practical stuff. I’ve done both and I’m always blown away by how much difference it makes to have the space.
So we spent the first session, Monday afternoon just getting to know the guys, chatting to them, alluding to the programme and ‘preparing’ them for a couple of days of stillness. On the second day after we had all checked in and had a break we played Syd Banks ‘One Thought Away’ in the morning session. There was a stillness in the room that hadn’t yet happened and a number of the men said they had heard something from Syd’s words. G seemed to be particularly impacted but just simply said that ‘he made a lot of sense’ and that he liked it.
So we enter day three. After a lot of chit chat they settled down and we asked what they made of it so far. The men quietly shared what they had seen. G tells us that he was talking to his wife on the phone these were his reflections:
“I’ve realised that I’m spending all my time being bitter and angry about being over tariff and that I’m the one hurting myself! The crazy part about it is that it has already gone! I can’t do nothing about it so I need to move on and live for now. If my attitude was different then the people around me would be different. I could go to the parole board and instead of being bitter and getting angry with them about what has already happened I will go with hope and inspiration in my heart and I think it would go differently. My wife said that she has been telling me that for years but I told her ‘this programme is about self realisation’ and until you realise it yourself you don’t realise it at all”.
This alone can change that mans life. His world will look different his time will look different he already looks different. The stillness we found created a spark within that changes everything.
Busy today at BR Towers! youtu.be/6PLrvm7ePqM
What have you been up to?Talking about all the things I've been up to today and some exciting new projects
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